25. In My Kitchen
September 28, 2022
Hi - Thanks for being here! This post is making me hungry….
Since my son’s diagnosis 20 years ago, when his first developmental pediatrician encouraged us to “clean up” his diet, I’ve been in the kitchen a lot.
Autism has shaped how I shop and cook and think about food.
Sure, I’m past the days when I would make my own gluten-free pretzels and cookies, even bending a metal cookie cutter into a goldfish so my preschooler could have the same-shaped snacks as his friends.
But I still spend a bulk of time planning and preparing his meals, my eye on the gut/brain connection and the overall benefits of whole, healthy food.
I rarely create detailed charts of everything he’s eating anymore, those scribbles that graphed how he was interacting, sleeping and pooping, to track possible sensitivities.
But I still think about potential triggers we might be missing, and I follow clinical studies on GI issues, vitamin deficiencies, and life expectancy.
Thankfully, I am no longer cleaning up vomit regularly. We are years beyond that phase when his reflex to spit out offensive textures would cause him to gag up his whole lunch.
But I still celebrate when he agrees to taste something new. I search for promising recipes and alternative ingredients and sometimes succeed in not taking it personally when he refuses to bite.
With autism, the pickiness of toddlerhood doesn’t always fade with age. Familiar meals, prepared in the same ways, are the most assured to be eaten.
I cook two meals at dinnertime. He’s a carnivore, we are not. And, my husband and I don’t mind our foods mixed together in casseroles or burritos; our son picks apart his burgers and pizza to eat them one layer at a time.
My son’s grocery list has grown over the years, but it’s still quite short and selective. When I order curbside pickup, I can take NO substitutions in brand or type.
He declines eggs, noodles, and most kinds of cheese. He won’t touch a salad or a smoothie.
He will, however, eat garbanzo beans straight from the can; edamame (if I shell them first); and a variety of fresh fruit (but not melon, and never apples).
We bargain every night over an ounce or two of greens on his plate.
I involve him where I can in the shopping and the cooking. Someday he’ll eat those vegetables he’s learning to cut.
At 23, he still usually asks permission before grabbing something from the pantry or fridge. I am exasperated that he won’t just help himself and also pleased that he lets me maintain some control.
I try to stock items that I don’t mind if he eats. The amounts, and the timing, are still a debate.
When I cave and bring home cookies or cake or candy, I get mad when my housemates insist on devouring them.
I look for ways to make the foods he likes more appealing to me, with creative modifications.
I limit any brands using artificial colors or preservatives, the shorter the ingredient list the better.
I fold pureed sweet potato and carrot into his peanut butter muffins; I mix traces of spinach into his grass-fed beef burgers.
I make soft pretzels with bean flour, stuff calzones with brocolli, and replace refined sugar with applesauce.
I cut his 100% juice with water, in lidded straw cups, and add powdered supplements from an overflowing shelf of vitamins, since he still can’t swallow capsules.
I “rotate” his dinner menu – which honestly, mostly involves separating the days he has onion rings with at least a day of pizza or tacos.
I know he’d prefer more Burger King, and less vegetable-pleading from me.
I’d prefer more plant-based proteins, and less sugar for him.
I’m still hopeful he’ll come to understand what “healthy” means, and begin to choose foods that make his body and brain feel better.
Look, there’s nothing like his joyful expression when I say “yes” to a favorite treat.
Except maybe the thrill of watching him taste a nutritious food, and then ask for seconds.
When I find a recipe that blends both of those flavors? When he’s craving the food I actually want him to have?
Now, that is truly a happy day in my kitchen.
I really enjoyed reading this ☺️ there really is so much thought that goes into meals!